So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Fuck appropriateness.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
