it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My vagina just recognized that song.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
