all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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