You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
