he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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