i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
