Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
