I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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