how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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