i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
