Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
