Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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