Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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