Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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