Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
