evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
