I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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