It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
did you just send me my own nude
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
