Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
