i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize