I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
