He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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