Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
