her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
