But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize