; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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