I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
