Don't you send me to vm
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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