Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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