I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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