Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
