Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
