smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
