Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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