Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
3pm strippers are depressing
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
