ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
