this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
