I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize