So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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