The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
