He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
