Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
