i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
