Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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