No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
