their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There's always time for handjobs
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize