He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
