At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
