I murdered the dance floor call the cops
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
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After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
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What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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