i think my mom watched the whole time
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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