Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Even my vagina gasped.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
