The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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