so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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