I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
