is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
