Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
