Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
