i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
