The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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