Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
