It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
